


Unwanted Bloodshed

by ArcheryGirl1101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood Loss, Child Death, Child Loss, M/M, Miscarriage, Winchester Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 10:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14423289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcheryGirl1101/pseuds/ArcheryGirl1101
Summary: Miscarriage Story - You've been Warned.Dean loses something he didn't know existed, Cas gets the cold shoulder for a while but once the dust settled the other Angels couldn't let them have a moments peace.Long One-Shot.





	Unwanted Bloodshed

Dean was sure that he could sleep off whatever was causing his stomach to flip, churn and just continue to disagree with whatever Dean tried to do to calm down his stomach down but nothing was working. He'd gone to sleep more agitated than he was awake.

He and Cas weren't talking right now; a stupid argument had lead to storming off on both ends. Sam had given up being peace-keeper so he too had left Dean to wallow in self-pity and possible illness, he'd seen Dean hurl out whatever grease infested diner crap he had swallowed into the bathroom toilet and sink for the past three weeks. Not that it was ever brought up because Dean would either go silent, direct the conversation elsewhere or just leave the room.

Something else that Sam thought was completely unlike Dean was that he hadn't drunk a single drop of alcohol lately, he was sure it had been a month since any form of beer graced Dean's lips. Sam pulled faces but did appreciate all their 'earned' money wasn't just spent on beers.

Sam had left Dean to sleep as his Brother looked physically drained of well... everything. The elder Winchester was out before his head hit the pillow.

Taking a rare moment to linger Sam threw his head back and sighed at the ceiling.

"Cas, please, I know you and Dean are just as stubborn as each other and both of you have way too much pride to back down first. I think... I think something is wrong with Dean. He's been throwing up all over the  
place and his moods have been haywire for the past month. If you can, please come and help"

Nothing happened.

"Typical. Well you know where we are, Cas" Sam left his Brother alone with a note saying to call if he needed anything.

Hours had passed and the one thing Sam knew he needed was sleep. Re-entering the motel room Dean still lay where he was, but he wasn't alone, Cas was standing over him on the verge of hyperventilating. The stench of thick copper warped the air.

"Cas?"

"Something's wrong" The Angel replied, he threw the sheets off Dean to reveal blood and a lot of it. The blood soaked through Dean's clothing, it resided from Dean's stomach downwards as if he'd been stabbed  
multiple times but there were no open wounds to sew up, no gashes that needed to heal, only blood and more blood was seen.

"We need to get him to a hospital" Cas confirmed drawing his hands back which were hovering over Dean.

"Wait? You can't heal him"

"If I touch him, the situation could become worse, Dean could die" No sugar-coating, always Cas' style.

"Dean?" Sam gripped his Brother's shoulders tight and shook him rapidly and little rougher than intentional "Dean!" Sam demanded again.

"Enough!" Cas ordered, Sam swore there was more emotion than Cas had ever spoken with before, "Do as you were ordered, Sam"

Cas vanished, the rush of rage-fuelled Grace burst the door open and nearly shattered the windows while Dean remained near dead to the world around him.

Carrying Dean and them placing him into the Impala was no easy task, he could hear Dean's usual snarky and bitchiness about staining the seats but it was all in Sam's head, real Dean hadn't said a word or even made a noise but was breathing, that was what counted right now.

Speeding his way there Dean was rushed into surgery, with many people touching him this awoke a bleary Dean, his eyes could barely open as if weights had been dropped on his lids. He could vaguely hear people calling his name while there were too many people were talking at once for the elder Winchester to understand any of it. He slipped away believing he spotted the tail end of an all-familiar tan trench coat following him.

Being placed into Recovery Dean slept on. Sam glued himself to the uncomfortable plastic chair next to the bed. Cas returned in his camouflage mode, no-one could see him except other Angels or Demons, it was  
the former to confront him first. Gabriel.

"So? Do you think he knows what the Hell just happened?" Gabriel held no amusement or joking in his tone.

"No. I will reveal the truth to Dean once he is better"

"Cas, you can't lie to him, you know what happened"

"Leave, Gabriel"

"Little Bro-"

"I said; leave!" Cas growled in his throat, watery eyes plus a pissed off attitude equalled disaster to whomever the wrath of Castiel was directed at, Gabriel did as instructed.

Though Sam wasn't able to hear the Angel and Archangel's conversation he shivered after Castiel had shouted at the Archangel, he looked around but shook it off. Bobby arrived some time later, failing in his  
attempt to coax Sam away or even sleep for that matter.

Dean eventually woke up on his own accord but he kept his eyes shut and his breathing at his regular pace, the conversation he heard - and hoped was a dream - made him want to shriek at the world and never stop.

"Cas, what are you saying? You knew this would happen!" Sam demanded.

"Sam, Nephilim are not accepted in any community of Heaven, it would have been slaughtered once born and sent to Purgatory to live out for the rest of eternity"

"Why didn't you protect Dean?!" Bobby confronted the Angel.

"I did. I didn't protect the being within him, there's a difference"

"By choice?" Sam demanded.

"Yes"

Heavy silence filled the tiny room.

"Leave, Castiel" Sam bit out.

"What?"

"He ain't asking twice, Cas. You may be an Angel but we know how to smite your ass and right now I think everyone including Dean would agree"

The flutter of wings ended the conversation, it was only then Dean opened his eyes Sam instantly sighed in relief but the feeling didn't last long.

"How much did you hear?" Sam's puppy eyes weren't going to work this time.

Dean just stared back at his Brother as if he didn't exist.

"Dean?" Sam asked sharply.

A Doctor entered, shocked to find Dean awake, he asked the two family members to leave so he could examine Dean without interruption, both Bobby and Sam complied while Dean rolled his head upwards to give an empty glare towards the ceiling.

Dean was told exactly what happened, he sat and listened wishing he was anywhere but the hospital and was pleased to know that since he was awake he could leave by tomorrow at the earliest.

"I'm deeply sorry for what happened Mr. Retner. I'll leave you be, press that call button if you need everything"

Dean nodded, as least he was sure of it, his entire body turned cold and numb after hearing Cas' voice. It was the first time in over a month since the two had spoken, Dean wished it was longer now. He never  
wanted to see that Angel's face again. After the spiteful thought ran through his head and body Dean felt regret, he loved his dickhead of an Angel and did what he probably thought was best, though a heads up would have been accepted but he remembered their argument. Harsh words were spat out from both sides and they were too stubborn and proud to admit they were wrong or out of place so they gave each other the cold shoulder and now it seemed everyone would be doing that to Cas from not protecting whatever Hell was inside Dean.

Subconsciously he rested his hand against his stomach. Realising seconds later what he was doing, his wrist twitched like it was burnt and Dean sucked in shaky breath willing himself not to shed tears over some thing that barely existed, but it wasn't a 'thing' it was the beginning of a person or being - for a better phrasing - that was going to be apart of the Winchester / Singer family. Blowing out whatever he was feeling he didn't want Sam returned.

"Dean? Hey. You OK?"

Taking a moment to spot where Sam's voice was coming from he croaked out "Would you believe me if I said I didn't know"

"Yeah,"

"Then that's your answer" Dean's voice was dry and hoarse from not being used in nearly three days.

"I'm sorry, man"

Dean shook his head and his gaze retreated back to the ceiling.

"We're here for you, you know that?" Sam continued taking his seat, Dean nodded.

"Well, everyone except C-" Sam was cut off from Bobby clearing his throat, two sets of eyes rested on Singer.

"He doesn't need to hear that right now, Idjit"

Dean cleared his throat quietly "Hear what?"

Bobby sighed, scrubbing his face one handed "Right now Cas is banned from being anywhere near you on account of being smote if he does" he answered.

"What? What for?"

"For putting you in hospital, Dean"

Reality sunk in deep. The conversation he heard, it was real. Dean couldn't form words his mouth opened and moved, wanting to conduct whatever conversation that was left in him but just breath came out.

"Son of a Bitch" Dean muttered to himself.

"What is it?" Sam questioned.

"I heard that conversation. I thought it was a dream or some whacked out hallucination" Dean despised himself for acting so vulnerable.

Sam gaped at his Brother, so did Bobby.

"I'm sorry, Son" Bobby spoke out.

"Both of you, get out. I don't want to be near anyone right now. Hospital or not I will break someone's nose" Crying anger seeped through Dean's tone of voice, it reminded Sam all too well of the exact same threat  
to never mention Ben or Lisa again.

"OK, call if you need us" Sam reminded his Brother.

"Just go, Sam" Dean snapped.

Bobby laid Dean some fresh clothes on the now vacant chair and left behind Sam.

The entire night Dean didn't sleep, he didn't want to and felt as if he had had enough to last him a week despite the lack of adrenaline that usually kept him up. All he did was think and think and think. He changed into his clothing as dawn broke out, signing himself out and just walked off. No true location was in Dean's mind. He found himself approaching the Hotel room he had stayed in a few nights ago. The memory hit him was relentless force, a numb shiver pulled over him completely, the Impala was still there so Sam must still be there.

He knocked despite himself, it took several attempts but someone finally answered the door, Sam looked like he had gone ten rounds with an Angel, black bags vividly shone below his eyes.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, can I come in?" Dean asked, his voice relatively back to it's usual state.

"Sure, I thought- We didn't know-"

"Sam, stop" Dean turned and pointed his palm to the ground "I'm back and I'm probably not going to OK for a while, so we do what we usually do, we move on" Dean's stare gave no room for negotiation.

Sam nodded, "Are you going to be silent on us?" Caution was best taken.

In that moment Dean was honest "I don't know"

"OK, so... we'll cross that bridge when it comes?"

Dean nodded again "Yeah. Get some more sleep, Sammy. I'll be at the table and wake you up around 09:00AM, got it?"

"Sure" Was muttered out from Sam, he returned to bed minutes later.

Dean pulled out his journal and began to write his list of one of the only thing that repeated in his head last night.

 **NAME** :

GIRLS:  
MARY / ELLEN / JO / JODIE - X / LISA (& BEN) (?)

BOYS:  
BOBBY / SAM / JOHN / DEAN - X  
JIMMY (?) CAS (?)

SURNAME:  
WINCHESTER  
NOVAK (?)

GIRL - MARY :MARIE - X / :MARY-BELLE - X / :ANNE-MARIE - X  
GIRL - SAM :SAMANTHA - X / :SADIE - X  
GIRL - LISA :ILISA - X / :LIZA - X / :ISSY  
GIRL - BEN :BETHANY - X / :BELLA / :BEATRIX - X  
GIRL - ELLEN :ELENOR - X / ELLIE - X / EVE - X  
GIRL - JO :JOANNA - X / JOSEPHINE - X / JUDE - X

BOY - BEN :BERT- X / :BERNERD - X / :BENNY - X  
BOY - SAM :SAMUEL - X / :SIMON - X  
BOY - BOBBY :BOB - X / :ROBERT - X / :ROBBY - X / :BILL - X  
BOY - JOHN :JOHNATHON - X / :JOHNNY - X / JOE - X

BOY - ~~CAS~~ : ~~CALLUM~~ / : ~~CASEY~~ / : ~~CAITHYM~~  
BOY - ~~JIMMY~~ : ~~JIM~~ / : ~~JERRY~~ / : ~~JERIMIAH~~

BEN & LISA, GIRL: BELLE/BELLA + ISSY = ISABEL  
GIRL - **ISABEL N. WINCHESTER**

FATHER FIGURES: BOBBY + JOHN = BOBBY JOHN / B.J.  
BOY - **BOBBY JOHN N. WINCHESTER**

Finishing his work it felt as if crushing weights had lifted from Dean's shoulders, he took what felt like his first breath and checked the time, he would give Sam another half hour before waking him up as no doubt he or Bobby barely took care of themselves while he was stuck in that hospital bed worrying themselves sleepless was in their nature.

He re-checked Cas' portion of the list, he considered Cas family, Hell they were dating now so yeah, family / relationship confirmed in Dean's mind. He felt no regret or questioning as he scored out all ideas he had to involve Cas. Jimmy hadn't done anything wrong, Cas was riding him as a meat-suit so in respect Novak was given as a middle name.

The Angel took away that chance the second he revealed he knew this would happen. In other words "Screw you, Cas"

"Dean?" Sam's voice just made it through Dean's train of thought.

"Yeah?" Dean snapped his journal shut, only he needed to see what he had done.

"What're you doing?"

"It doesn't matter," Dean stood up and walked over to his Brother, leaning over his younger Brother "Time to get up, buddy-boy. I was going to give you a few more minutes but you're up now"

"Wait, Dean?" Sam sat up.

"What?"

"You seem... happy" Sam was pulling a concerned face.

"And?" Dean snapped back.

"I don't know, I thought maybe you'd be drinking away your problems"

"Not this time, Sammy. I'm over it" The final sentence came out before Dean could acknowledge what he had said, he sagged in silent remorse "Not what I meant" It was more for himself than Sam.

"OK. You meant you were moving on?"

Dean quickly nodded, snatching up his journal to tuck it away in his duffel bag before curious eyes were laid on its new contents.

"I'm going out to grab breakfast, want anything?" Dean offered

"Sure, you pick"

"Gotcha"

Dean closed the door behind him. Depressing shockwaves burst through him, he thumped back against the door feeling like he'd been gut-punched by Lucifer then Michael and finishing with Cas. Swallowing  
nausea he marched forward to the Impala to get breakfast.

Hours had passed, the Winchesters had packed up to Bobby's. Safe to say everyone was tiptoeing around Dean, he understood why but he just didn't appreciate it. By no means was he a fragile little girl, he seemed to be coping with whatever it was he'd lost, biting his tongue he allowed the avoidance.

He sat in the spare room alone, he closed his eyes and thought back to the chosen names Isabel N. Winchester and B.J. N. Winchester. Opening his emerald eyes he stared into the abyss, feeling trapped by his thoughts until he snapped himself out of it.

"Cas, you there?" Dean began to pray "Cas, I know you've been threatened by Bobby and Sam but right now I need to talk to you about what happened..." Silence followed Dean's words "Please?"

One again silence filled the room, which to Dean felt unbelievably tiny now.

"Dammit" Dean stormed up to the door, the force used to open the door could have broken it. He was met with a depressed looking Cas.

"Cas... you came"

"Of course, Dean. I always do" Cas avoided Dean's eyes.

"Hey. Look at me" Dean bent down a little to meet shifting cobalt eyes.

"Dean I was warned to stay away from you" Cas pleaded.

"Hey, if they want you they have to get through me first" Dean pulled Cas out of the hallways back into the room.

"I'm surprised you wanted to speak to me" Cas spoke up

"Yeah. I think I deserve an explanation"

"I... I was aware of your ''condition'' and didn't know how to bring it up. It seemed other Angels started to hear rumours after Sam began to pray to me in order to find out why you had started to act differently, for example throwing up and avoiding alcohol"

"So through the Angel Radio I was discussed and the... Nephilim?" Cas nodded in response "Nephilim was killed because of our ''private time'' together" Dean mocked Cas' use of quotation marks.

"This isn't funny Dean. You were hurt and I didn't save you"

"Yes you did,"

"Not all of you and it was by choice"

Another gut-wrenching punch was thrown towards Dean, he lost all composure and straight-out punched Cas in the face, resulting in possibly broken knuckles.

"Get out" Dean demanded.

"Dean, you wanted the truth-"

"And I didn't like it"

"I know"

A shotgun was cocked behind them "This may not hurt you, Cas but you should get the message" Bobby's voice was clear with authority.

The whoosh of Angel wings announced Cas leaving.

Dean sagged, "Excuse me,"

The elder Winchester didn't exactly wait for anyone to respond and sunk back into the spare room, he slipped down against the door, his knees bent loosely

"Damn it" He was Dean Winchester, he was always able to push his emotions aside to move on quickly, so why couldn't he do it now? What was different this time?

Knocking occurred above his head. Dean dragged out a blink.

"Dean?" Sam's voice called through, clearly concerned, "Dean?"

"Go away, Sammy" Dean whispered. Of course his Brother didn't hear him but the knocking and calling stopped, Dean heard Sam crouch down at the door and felt the shift in weight against the door

"Dean, I get you don't want to talk but... we've got your back" Sam piped up after a few minutes of silence.

"We can put up Angel Wards if you want?" Sam tried again. Dean shook his head, he had to uncurl his arm around his waist, Dean had lost count how many times he had done it now.

"Bobby's ordering dinner, pizza for a change" Sam continued to have his one-way conversation.

"Dean? It's getting cold" Dean had lost track of the time long ago.

Dean sat up, he'd fallen asleep. Taking a deep breath he steadily got to his feet and opened the door, oblivious to his bloodshot eyes.

"Sorry, I crashed out on the floor, word of advice, don't curl up on a doorframe, it's not comfortable" Dean brushed passed Sam "Last thing I heard was pizza, that still on the table?"

"Yeah," Sam gave a hesitant smile "we'll microwave it for you, it's been over an hour"

"More tired than I thought" Dean mumbled to himself.

"We've got some beer too"

Dean pulled a face, stunning Sam "Not really up for that yet, the idea of food is..." Dean couldn't find the right words

"OK. Well, we've been doing some research if you're up for that?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. No doubt guns will need cleaned too" Dean led his Brother downstairs, Bobby tried his hardest to act casual, it seemed to get past the eldest Winchester.

"What did I-" Dean glared at the Angel Banishing Sigil on the door.

"Dean?"

"Who... who did that?"

"Believe it not, Cas did" Bobby answered

"He was here?" Dean was astounded no-one woke him up for it.

"Only for a minute; he didn't say anything, drew that, gave me his Angel Blade and left"

"OK, anyway. What did I miss?"

"We're scrapping at a case, Wendigo this time"

"Not seen them in a while"

"Yep. You hungry?" Bobby pushed a plate of pizza towards Dean. Dean was still a tad nauseous but he needed something, he'd be pinned and force fed otherwise

"Sure," Dean gingerly ate at the pizza, he enjoyed it despite himself.

 

Hours later the Wendigo case research was interrupted by a certain King of Hell.

"Hello boys"

"What do you want, Crowley?" Bobby demanded

"Simple matter, really. Another Crossroads Dealer is going rogue, find him and I'll deal with him. I'm still leaving you be, you know"

"Yeah, it's been friggin' fantastic" Dean snapped

"Touchy" Crowley raised an eyebrow "Oh wait, what happened to you? Angel troubles?"

"Shut up, you Idjit" Bobby snarled

"Oh..." Crowley finally understood "The rumour was true--"

Sam blasted Crowley full of rock salt, the King was on the floor "OW! This suit was just tailored you know?"

"Cry us a river, you Son of a Bitch" Dean snarled

"One last thing," Crowley started, Dean burst from his chair, sticking Ruby's dagger against Crowley's neck "no record of your little one at my doorstep" The shorter hissed. Dean shoved him away.

"Get out!"

Sam fired another round where Crowley should have been standing.

The air was tense, musky and barely breathable "Cas, get down here now" Dean raised his head a little

"Hello Dean"

"No record in Hell, where is... it?" Dean pushed down retching over his calling his 'child' an 'it'.

"Technically the Nephilim wasn't alive, it washed away with the blood lost"

"OK. Where would he or she have gone?"

"I'm not certain, Dean"

"OK. Thank you" Dean turned back to face Bobby and Sam, "You two, thanks"

"Anytime" Sam whispered.

"So, back to business. Find a rogue Dealer, again" Dean groan in annoyance "Think we'll run into Becky?"

"Don't bring that up, Jerk"

"Bitch" A smirk was on Dean's face, it felt good.

"You're all Idjits. Now-" A whoosh echoed behind them all, Cas left "We have a location on him, Crowley marked it down on this map"

_Last known location._   
_-Crowley x_

"Great, Nevada, here we come" Sam shrugged.

 

Acting as FBI, the Dealer had killed a husband. The Widow and female toddler were sitting in their couch while Sam and Dean entered, Dean struggled not to just stare longingly at the child on Mrs. Robin's lap.

"We're agents Phillip and Chester" Sam introduced them making Dean jump a bit, he hadn't heard Sam speak at all.

"You're here about Geoffrey?" The woman known as Maria answered, the child began to squirm in her Mother's arms.

"Is there somewhere private we can discuss this? Agent Chester, do you mind watching little Nattie?" Sam nudged his Brother.

"Yes, more than happy to" The tight smile was there, Sam had to withhold a grimace as he walked through with Maria.

"Did you know my Daddy?" The three-year-old asked

"No, but we're going to find who hurt him, promise"

'Nattie' began to sniffle "Hey, no tears. I bet you've been taking car of Mommy, right?" Dean knelt down in front of the mini brunette, she nodded making a noise of confirmation.

"Good girl, Nattie. Your Mommy must be so proud"

"I miss my Daddy"

Dean's face fell, "I bet he misses you too"

Nattie jumped into Dean's chest, her arms tightened into a vice grip. Dean's entire body turned cold. A week had passed since his 'accident' with the Nephilim. He hugged the young girl back, truly unprofessional;  
FBI were suppose to be cold, unattached bastards but Dean was still vulnerable whether he liked it or not.

He stood up to his full height, Nattie's legs wrapped around his torso, sobbing into his suit jacket

"Shh, shh, shh" Dean rocked her as he walked around the living room "Hey, thought I said no tears?" Dean joked as he paced around the room.

"Sowwy," Nattie whispered.

"Don't be. But, hey, you still got your Mom so that means you two could take on the world" Dean wasn't sure what he said or why in particular but Nattie wouldn't know better for another few years.

"Really?"

"Absolutely, you and your Mom will be strong no matter what, right?"

Nattie lifted her reddened face "Yeah!"

Dean smiled "See? Make sure you protect your Mom, she'll do whatever she can to watch over you"

Nattie giggled a little, "I make sure Mommy is protected!"

"Make sure to scare away big guy-jerks too, you and your Mom can do anything, just the two of you" Dean was in his own world, he hadn't noticed Sam and Maria watching them.

"I hope so," Maria's voice caused both Winchester and Nattie's head to snap towards her in shock.

"You're very good with her, do you have children of your own"

Dean flinched, enough of it was subtle as Nattie had to be plucked out of Dean's grasp, Nattie wouldn't let go. His eyes glazed over.

"Oh," Maria whispered, "I'm sorry"

"We'll find who did this" Sam spoke up, taking Dean towards the door.

"Bye," Nattie waved them off, Dean heard a loud "Mommy, that man was so nice to me!"

Dean's heart broke when Nattie was pulled out of his arms, he was unaware that Sam had gripped his shoulder tighter whilst dragging him to the Impala.

"Dean!"

"What?" Dean jumped, gasping for air.

"Did you hear any of that?"

"No"

"Look, I'm sorry about that and what happened but you need to get your head straight, if you can't then I think you should go back to the Motel, I can do this Solo"

Dean cleared his throat, "I'm good, Sammy. Just had a moment" The elder Winchester swerved into the driver side door

"You know," Sam started as he entered shotgun "you were really good with her"

"Comes from looking after you" Dean swallowed down a yell of despair.

"Right, that makes me feel so confident"

"Shut up, Bitch"

"Jerk"

 

Dean had decided Sam was right - begrudgingly - and waited for his little Brother at the Motel.

He had perched himself on the edge of his own bed and stared out to nowhere.

He'd close his eyes and remember vague seconds of losing the Nephilim - people talking over him, Sam shouting his name, blood, so much blood, he could hear his own heartbeat skyrocket and finally Cas standing  
over him. Shame and guilt radiating off the Angel.

"I'm sorry, Dean. They gave me a choice; you or the Nephilim. I chose you"

Dean figured this was where he'd subconsciously learnt what the name of the creature was, sighing he opened his eyes, while his shoulders lowered. He was going to get up but swore he felt something or someone slap him.

"Help!"

"Who- What's going on?" Dean leapt to his feet, but no-one was around. The voice was still ringing in his head but it wasn't familiar.

"Dean?"

Reality, get back to reality' Dean forced himself to focus.

"Yeah?"

Sam cautiously entered the room "You OK? I thought I heard you"

"No, I didn't say anything" Dean attempted to get rid of the shakiness of his voice.

"OK, I've got a lead, turns out that the Dealer is female, and get this, we've already met her"

"Who is it?"

"Maria Robin"

Dean turned bug eyed, he needed to save Nattie.

"Whoa" Sam rammed himself into the oncoming storm that was Dean Winchester's temper "I get it, but if we go in guns blazing she may kill Nattie. I can read you, Dean"

"Sam, that little girl is in danger, we save people from that sort of crap, no way am I letting a three-year-old get ganked on my watch. Not again"

"Again?" Sam questioned and instantly regretted it "Dean, you didn't know"

"Shut up, Sam. Now I'm going to save Nattie, so you coming with me or not?"

"Yeah,"

"Then let's go" Dean was already speeding his way to the Impala

"Whoa, Dean. Hang on"

"What?" Dean was in no mood to waste time now

Sam coward under Dean's vengeful emerald eyes, "Forget it"

"Get in"

Tyres squealed under the Impala, no sooner that ten minutes had passed when the Winchesters parked outside Nattie's house.

 

Dean grabbed the canister of Holy Water while Sam took the shotgun "You get Nattie out, I'll shoot. She trusts you Dean" The younger reasoned while catching up with Dean.

Dean already kicked the door in to the sound of a toddler screaming.

"Nattie!" Dean barked out

"Oh? Am I discovered, this will be a treat" 'Maria' scoffed out, her face was kindly introduced to rock salt.

"Crowley, we've got her!" Sam shouted out

Meanwhile Dean was searching through the house for whimpering, he was relieved that no blood stains or signs of struggling took place

"Nattie? It's me again" Dean attempted to sound cheerful, the shotgun blast made the toddler yelp and burst out from her hiding space in the closet, straight into Dean's legs

"Help me!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, Nattie, drink this; it'll help" Dean handed her the canister, she gulped it down with no trouble which lifted unimaginable kinds of weight off Dean's chest, which she clung to in haste, once  
again wrapping her tiny legs around his middle and tied her arms around his neck.

"I got'cha" Dean swayed with the little girl in his arms "Sam?"

"Yeah, all clear down here. What about you?"

"We're fine," Dean called back "right?" Dean rested his chin on Nattie's head, he could feel a subtle nod under him "Yeah? We're all good"

Actual police arrived at the scene, Sam had dashed off but Dean either wouldn't or couldn't leave - maybe both. Sam struggled to watch his Brother take care of the little orphan girl. He quickly made up a lie that he  
was Nattie's 'carer' the little girl was adamant Dean had saved her and didn't want him to leave so it wasn't a complete lie. To be honest Dean wasn't sure who was clinging to who anymore, he stopped the tears from falling and softened the sobs. He imagined he'd be doing this with the Nephilim that was torn away from him, if he were to attempt picturing his would-be / what-if child he or she would probably obtain the features of Nattie; messy brunette hair that reached her jaw-line - shorter like Dean's if it was a boy, a fusion of sea foam-jade eyes, button nose, little plump lips and a healthy build.  
Several times he was sure that maybe a tear or two fell as Nattie would drift in and out of dozing .

"Hey, Nattie?" Dean whispered

She moaned being woken up.

"Your uh... your Nana is here"

"No, I want you to stay" She whined, wanting to melt into his body. The Nana, known as Chelsea approached them.

"Nat, it's Nana, she's going to take care of you"

"No!" Dean cringed at the squeal in his ear.

"Natalie W. Robin you will listen to me this instant" Chelsea snapped.

Nattie curled into Dean, "Let me handle this," Dean winked at her and stepped away "Nattie, you know you gotta let me go, Nana Chels will take care of you just like I am now. You better listen to family, I know I said  
that it would be you and Mommy but I think your plan may have to change for your Nana, you and her can still take on the world, trust me"

"OK," Nattie pouted

"What does the 'W' stand for in your name?" Dean distracted her as he drew closer to Chelsea

"Westchester. I'm Natalie West-Robin"

"Hyphenate? Huh. I know someone who has a name very similar to that"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I bet one day," He passed her to Chelsea as he had successfully distracted her "you'll meet them and drive them crazy"

"Yeah" The wicked grin was adorable. Dean couldn't help but smile back, "Here. If you need anything, give me a call" The Winchester slipped one of his cards into Chelsea's pocket

"Thank you, Sir"

"You stay safe, Ma'am. Both of you"

"We will" Nattie's voice sang out.

Dean made his way back to the Impala, wishing the leather would consume him whole. Once again his arms rested against his middle, he had to get himself out of this rut.

'Focus, Dean'

Dean was lost in himself again, Sam was shaking him lightly.

"Wake up, Dean"

"Sammy?" Dean sounded... vulnerable, no more façade, no more 'I'm-peachy-and-everything-is-fine' face, Dean was finally showing him true feelings.

"I'm sorry, Dean"

"Whatever it was, didn't exist. Nattie is safe and that's what matters"

"Speaking of Nattie," Sam started, then pulled something out of his pocket; it was a small bunny key-ring, it was white and brown with floppy ears "she practically ordered me to give you this as a thank you and a  
good luck charm" Dean had no clue when Sam found the time to speak to Nattie but accepted it anyway.

Dean carefully took the bunny out of his Brother's mammoth hand, and tucked it in his pocket for now, "Let's get back"

Sam nodded. Led Zeppelin mused through the almost-comfortable silence.

Dean parked the Impala smoothly "You go ahead Sammy, I've got to do something first"

"OK" Sam pulled himself out of Baby but lingered at the door window, "You know, I think that you'd make a great Dad"

"Sam," Dean stared down his Brother, silently demanding not to bring up Lisa and Ben.

"No, listen. Apart from... you know who and raising me you'd make a great Dad one day, apple-pie life suits you, Dean. Given all the crap we've dealt with I think sometime in the future we'll have the lives we  
wanted"

"Dude, stuff the chick-flick crap!" Dean didn't mean to lost his temper and shook his head "I... look, we'll talk about it in the morning, get a shower and I'll be right behind you"

Dean huffed out his held breath, his face found its way into his hands still against the steering wheel, the key-ring brushed against his lap from his pocket, he sat up and raised the key-ring to face him. He got out of the Impala and headed for the trunk, opening it he found a stray piece of string and looped it in the ring and tied it to the underneath of the trunk so whenever he'd open it he'd be greeted by the dangling bunny.  
Dean smiled and closed the trunk, already feeling a bit better.

His 'OK' mood continued for the night, Sammy slept while Dean's thoughts trailed in-between the bunny, now called Jude, his what-if child and eventually found himself needing the company of his hidden Angel.

"Cas, you there?" Dean asked out, he sighed when no wings fluttered "OK, maybe you're busy so you can just listen to me. I'm not pissed at you anymore - I was but I've moved on, really. I helped this little girl today  
and she definitely helped me, I've had a few moments but I swear it was only temporary. I pray to you to get your feathery ass in this room so I can tell you something important face to face"

Dean waited up for Cas until the digital clocked showed somewhere after 02:00AM, Dean had slumped out on his bed after changing into a blank shirt and some shorts. It was a peaceful sleep, his dream even consisted of spending time fishing with Cas - not that the Angel knew the he was doing in the least. Dean was laughing in his dream causing him to chuckle in his sleep, Sam smiled at his Brother's good mood as he drifted back into his own slumber.

Cas had heard Dean's prayer and a smile graced Castiel's lips too as he watched over the Winchester Brothers.

 

For a small while things were OK. Dean had received a few calls from Nattie, needless to say Dean always had a vibrant mood after hearing that little girl's voice. It made Sam grin, his Big Brother wasn't stuck anymore.

Dean and Cas had recovered from their shaky ground, there was still guilt that shone through Castiel's eyes whenever Dean wasn't looking but it was better than their silent treatment to each other.

Bobby was still reluctant to re-open the door with Cas but Dean was better now so maybe he could loosen the hinges.

It was going well until an Angel with a chip on her shoulder against Castiel burst everyone's bubble.

She'd appeared with a vibrant scarlet jacket and taunted it in front of Dean, claiming she happened to know that Nattie was in danger. Dean had driven himself into his overprotective mode, going alone probably  
wasn't the smartest move but Sam had left for another Hunt and Cas was dragged back to Heaven.

Dean had found Nattie; Chelsea was gruesomely torn to shreds while the toddler had been stabbed by a Demon.

Dean held her close to his chest make her feel safe an as comfortable as possible while dying.

"De..."

The girl had finally stopped sobbing her eyes out. Dean knew she wasn't going to make it and that broke The Winchester's heart.

"Yeah, Nattie?"

"Will I see my Momma and Daddy again?"

"I'm sure you will, I bet they can't wait to see you smile again, driving them crazy, they can't wait" Dean was struggling to keep his composure, he tightened his grip on her while pressing harder on her wound. His plastered smile for the toddler needed to keep shining however Dean was sure it had become a grimace by now.

"Nattie?"

Nothing was said.

"Nattie? Baby girl, hey?"

Her jade coloured eyes opened, tears slipped down her cheeks in effort.

"You are such a good girl, you know that? You are amazing"

Dean was panicking, stroking her hair so she'd feel comfort.

"De..?"

"Yeah?" Dean fixed his watery eyes on hers.

"Night night..." She whispered, Dean felt the words rather than heard them. Kissing her forehead he rocked her back and forth.

"Goodnight, Baby girl"

It wasn't long before Dean was rocking a fresh corpse in his arms, his entire body shook with grief as he hugged her one last time.

The jacket had appeared out of nowhere. Dean wrapped Nattie up and laid her on the table, clasping her hands together, her kissed her forehead and stroked her hair one last time, he'd give her a Hunter's burial so he could rest in peace.

The Angel, known as Ariel reappeared, to then sound out a fake gasp.

Dean faced her, he dared not shed a tear while in Ariel's company.

She sighed "Well, at least she wasn't alone. She had you, didn't she?"

"Why would I leave her?" Dean wasn't sure why he was engaging in conversation, he just wanted to leave with Nattie cradled in his arms and never taken away from him.

"The first time around you were both separated before either of you both knew you existed. So we were curious as to how you would react when you had known her alive and well kept"

"What do you mean, 'first time' you Son of a Bitch?!" Dean's broken voice echoed around the concrete walls.

The Angel turned smug.

"How did it feel, Dean? Holding and watching your daughter die twice under your watch?"

Dean's eyes widened, his hands shaking far too hard to pull out and aim his hidden gun. His breathing now sped up.

The Angel continued "Does that make you feel useless, pathetic or a waste of a man? I am hitting any of the right pointers yet?"

"It was you?" Dean wanted to say something else entirely but he couldn't think straight.

"Of course. I understudied Raphael's followings, Castiel did not deserve the title of God and should not have been given the chance to be titled 'Father' either"

"You sick Bitch!"

"This vessel is in impeccable health"

"Actually," Castiel's voice was hollow, he stabbed the Angel in the back "it isn't"

Ariel screamed as her grace dispersed and her wings seared into the floor.

Cas strode over to Dean who looked beyond broken.

"Dean, I swear I didn't know" Cas pleaded guilt wading in his cyan eyes.

"I believe you, Cas" Dean found the floor highly interesting, Cas took a moment to look at their daughter "She didn't do anything wrong" Dean muttered against Castiel's shoulder.

Cas silently nodded, "I know"

"Why did this have to happen again?" Dean was past caring about everything now, Cas felt Dean's entire body tensed and realised the Winchester had tilted his head back, the Angel squeezed Dean's hand as grieving man screamed out his soul to Heaven.

Cas didn't say a word, he caught the Winchester as he had blacked out, still sobbing. Cas had to swallow his own grief for their daughter a second time and focus on taking care of Dean. Revenge was already taken so now all they could do was pick up the shattered pieces around them and hope that one day things could be OK again but no-one was holding out hope it would be anytime soon.

 

At her cremation and burial Dean carved out on wood "Natalie Hope Winchester" in her honour.

No-one said a word as Team Free Will gave Nattie the peace she deserved.

Cas quietly spoke that would escort her through to her personal Heaven to find her parents again so he could say goodbye this time.

The Bunker was exceedingly quiet for a month.

Dean locked himself away in his room, on a rare occasion ate and just looked at Sam and Cas, never speaking.

Sam and Cas were reading when Dean padded through to the kitchen area, he sat down next to Cas and leaned on his shoulder saying "I'm not OK, I needed company"

Cas nodded, looping his arm around Dean and holding him close, Dean gestured for Sam which the Brother immediately came to and the three sat tighter in silence, holding each other in silence as their thoughts drifted back to the little Winchester who was in Heaven, happy like she always would of been.

Their little Angel Nephilim.


End file.
